Just Being Here

Hello there and Happy Thursday! This week has been pretty great for me, and since I have been going through some interesting things professionally and personally, I’ve been sitting a lot with the idea of “I’m there.” What does that mean exactly? Let me back up a few weeks.

About a month ago I had a no good very bad work week which unfortunately started on a Sunday and didn’t get better. Someone I had been working with for a long time and had tried really hard to please started back pedaling and it wasn’t pretty. I learned a LOT that week, as I mentioned in one post, about getting everything in writing. Also about communicating and realizing when a working relationship is not a good one. You can’t win ‘em all, especially when people don’t want to understand what you are doing or that your goal is to help them.

When Friday of that week rolled around, I wanted nothing more than to kick back with friends. But before that could happen, I received the email I have dreamed about since I quit my publishing job. I didn’t believe it. I thought it was spam. It had to be a joke.

It was a wine brand based in Sonoma County asking if I was interested in applying for a Social Media position. My week went from someone who really didn’t get it being ridiculous to me to me and making me feel awful, and  suddenly I was being contacted by a dream job. It was kind of scary!  I called my husband, who was in meetings. I called him so many times that when he got to his phone he thought there was an emergency. I called my mom. I jumped up and down and started looking at property in Healdsburg.

Later that night, I was asked to do some media work for Tapeña.  Yes! While I have had many small successes over the past year or so (along with MANY disappointments) these were two things I REALLY wanted to be doing.

I applied for the job in Sonoma, and ended up with not one but two interviews. I started to agonize as I knew the decision would happen quickly, suddenly too quickly for me. What about spending the summer with family and friends? How would we get to California? Our condo? Our stuff? Money? Overwhelming.

And then I got another call, this time for some work at a Boston agency, the type of work I could never even look at in November 2010 because I didn’t have the experience but work I always knew I would be great at.

Oh yeah, and I was still working full time and getting ready to run a marathon. There was not a lot of quiet in my mind this month, to say the least.

I found out this week I didn’t get the job in California, but after the second interview I kind of knew that. I kind of didn’t want it anymore. There was no chemistry between me and the interviewer (Who actually said I had the “meditative voice of someone who works from home” and kind of implied I didn’t have a lot going on. If only he knew! Our call was two days after the marathon. Meditative, no? Out of it? A little!), and I knew I couldn’t move immediately, at least not at this point in time. That didn’t stop me from getting a little emotional.  It was an exciting prospect for a few weeks, and my California dreaming will have to suffice for now.

I did get the agency work though, and I am loving it. In fact, I am loving work each and every day, despite being exhausted. This is what I want.

And that’s where being here and now comes in. Even as I get new opportunities, finish a marathon, do something I am proud of, I am constantly thinking and plotting for bigger, better, faster, more, next. It’s good to be ambitious, but never being satisfied right here, right now? Exhausting. Even the best hikers stop and enjoy the view every now and then.

Sure I will keep working toward goals and will always have that drive for more, but I think I will sit back, look how far I’ve come, and be okay with that. At least for today.

In other news, I am IN! I got chosen in the lottery for the 2012 NYC Marathon. I am so excited to be able to just train without worrying about fundraising this time around!

Do you struggle with enjoying where you are right here and right now or do you have a better appreciation of the journey rather than just the destination?